I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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