I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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