Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
fuck your aforementioned shoe
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
