She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize