And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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