you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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