Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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