WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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