I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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