I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
