You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
