I hate all girls vehemently.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
