Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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