My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
