i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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