My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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