So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
