it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
