The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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