also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the day after is always just damage control
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize