Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
