Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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