last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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