My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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