forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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