He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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