And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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