I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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