i just google imaged poop.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
