Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
