my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
