That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
