She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
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Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
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My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Let's get the cat blown out
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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