I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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