what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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