Ambien. No doubt about it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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