pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
