Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
