Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
