Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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