I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
