I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
