Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize