Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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