whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
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