hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
