I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
wow bdsm is so cute
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
