Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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