i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
