guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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