i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
