Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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