I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
