i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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