I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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