no you cant smoke seaweed
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I deserve this hangover.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
