I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
