i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
