So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
