is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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